Why The Hell?

I interviewed last Monday for a new job and never heard back. They never called my references or returned my call to see if the recruiter even got the faxed application with the references on it. The guy that interviewed me did say he was busy last week and was doing more interviews for all of the stores he covers. It’s only the third day of this week so I could still get a call but I don’t like my chances. This is what tends to happen when I get my hopes up. They get let down. I’m doing pretty well at my current place of employment so I’m not in as much of a hurry to leave as I was but I still do want to. You never really enjoy working in a call center but you can settle in after a while and accept your role there. I went all of overdraft Tuesday without giving a single refund. I was proud of myself. In the past I’ve hit $175 or more on Tuesday. I have to submit all my refunds to my boss for scrutinization and reports are printed weekly. I definitely feel the pressure to keep refunds low even though they say we’re empowered to do whatever we feel is right. It’s a catch 22. Ok. We have an appointment soon and we’re going out to Springfield.

In a t-shirt, socks and boxers I weighed in at 276.2 pounds. Today I ate a cold cut trio foot long sub on wheat with lettuce, tomato and mayo. It’s not exactly Jared’s Subway diet but it’s healthier than a lot of things I could’ve eaten. I skipped lunch but had a bowl of Cracklin’ Oat Bran cereal (aka cat food). I guess Kellogg’s site is down or having other issues but Wikipedia has nutrition info. They have everything. We got a basic two person “weight tracking” scale that will not only tell you your weight but if you’ve lost or gained weight. It was the cheapest digital scale in Wally World. It wasn’t expensive at all. One scale was $7 and as big as one of my feet. I guess I would’ve had to do a balancing act on that one. I plan to take “before” pictures soon but I’m not sure I want to post them right away. Maybe when I have something to compare it to.

Video of Scott Jr with hiccups. (384×288, 1min, 1sec, 16.3 MB, QuickTime format)

This day has always meant something to me and my family, even though my Father died when I was 3. My Mom just kept chugging along and raised my Brother and I. Life wasn’t perfect, it never is, but I had pretty much anything I wanted as a kid and we didn’t turn out too bad as adults. We’re both married with kids and stable lives. I may always be striving for career happiness but in life I’m good. Once I lose some weight I’ll be even better. There were plenty of opportunities to get into trouble growing up but we stayed out of it. We’ve always tried to recognize my Mom on this day because she is our father too.

As a parent it means a lot to me. I always wanted a family and now I have it. We’ve been a family since Alexandra arrived on 9/3/04 and a bigger one when Scotty arrived 3/27/09. I love being a father but plan to keep it at just two kids. I don’t ever really want anything as a gift but if Deb and Alex do get something small I want it to be a surprise. Surprises are tough for a 4 year old. She has managed it pretty well since the morning after buying the gift when she woke up and was ready to spill the beans. It stinks that I only get to see my daughter in the morning but it is what it is for now.

Today was a pretty good relaxing day off. We went to karate and shopping for food but not much else. If I had gotten my pay check in the mail like I should’ve (on Friday!) we would’ve have a little money to go to the town yard sale or other yard sales. It’s fun to do that on a weekend when you’re not being screwed out of your hard earned money. I hope it’s in the mailbox on Monday morning or I’ll be giving the payroll lady an earful. There’s no reason for not getting my check.

I’m still thinking about what to wear for a dress shirt and possibly a tie. I’ve gained so much weight in the middle that if a shirt fits my gut it’s long in the arms and vice versa. I know I need to lose weight badly but I can’t do it in a matter of days. It has to be a lifestyle change that I make now and continue over time. I plan to buy a scale at Wally World and post my progress here. I am ashamed of how I’ve let my health get out of control but I’m not too embarrassed to say it here. Maybe if I stand up and admit it publicly here it’ll encourage others to own up to their own issues with weight. It won’t go away if I pretend it’s not happening or if I act like I’m okay with it. I’m not okay with it and although I’m a happy person in general, I’m not happy about my health. I’m approaching 30 and it’s all down hill from there when it comes to losing weight. Stay tuned for more on this. Lots more.